Monday, 18 August 2014

My Partner........My Friend!

Have you ever had the pleasure of meeting a couple that have been together for over 30 years and yet so close? I have and I remember it so well because it marked mind forevever! It was sometime in the late eighties ( Jeez! I don dey old *smiles*). I was sitting down and enjoying the company of this elderly man and his children in his lovely home while his wife was in THEIR bedroom(not HER bedroom!), getting ready to leave for an outing. They had been married for over 30 years. The wife poops out and asks 'how do I look?'. For someone that had been married for that long, she looked good. We all echoed 'Great!Beautiful!!', as if rehearsed. We however noticed that her lipstick was heavy and told her, to which she replied 'let me get a tissue to reduce it'. And then it happened, the husband protested and said 'why use a tissue when my lips are here for you?', she smiled, went over
to where he was and planted a kiss on his lips. That's not all, she then proceeded to plant a peck on the cheeks of all her kids present and I got one too *smiles*. They were best of friends!

Friendship in a relationship is so vital! Interestingly enough, it's present prior to the start of a relationship BUT this is not a guaranty it will be there afterwards. Friendship is developed and groomed for it to blossom! A lot of couples have this myth that they authomatically become their partner's best friend because they are in a relationship or marriage. It really doesn't work that way! Particularly if you are married. It's quite interesting to find that couples( particularly the men), somehow expect their partner or spouse to make them their best friend! Let me quickly add here that the fact that friendship was once there does not mean it will be forever!

Let me categorically say that if friendship can start, friendship can end! Let me ask you this. Did you at anytime, while growing up, have this one friend that you were so close it was impossible to separate you both? Some were so close that their parents had to be friends because of them. But right now, you don't even know what's going on in their life. You went your separate ways! When you now meet, it's more of information sharing that connecting like you use to. What happened? You grew apart! It is possible to grow apart in a marriage or relationship as well, in fact, if you don't consciously work at it, you will.

Friendship in a relationship, particularly marriage makes all the difference. It makes submission for a wife easier, it makes loving the wife easier for the man and it helps ensure sex is not an issue. A critical part of developing/growing friendship is knowing the other person. Before you start saying I know my spouse, let me say that the act of knowing your spouse is a continuos one. We are all a product of our background and certain circumstances. These things help shape the way we react or respond to certain things. Guess what? They keep changing! Every now and then, your spouse will pull a surprise on you that will make you ask yourself if you really know him/her. You need to become a student of your spouse! Their temperament can change! Their love language can change! And yet you want to keep dealing with them the way you've always done!

The good thing about life is that each day is a fresh opportunity to get it right. Do not be scared to fail because you will miss it every now and then.But be determined and you'll find that becoming (and staying) a friend to your spouse is not that difficult. If you really want to grow grey together, then become friends for life. The couple I mentioned earlier are in their late eighties or early nineties and all their kids are out of their home but the friendship they built is still as strong as ever. I personally believe that friendship between couples can affect the longevity of the couple because you never want to leave/abandon your friend.

No comments:

Post a Comment