Have you ever had the pleasure of meeting a couple that have been
together for over 30 years and yet so close? I have and I remember it so
well because it marked mind forevever! It was sometime in the late
eighties ( Jeez! I don dey old *smiles*). I was sitting down and
enjoying the company of this elderly man and his children in his lovely
home while his wife was in THEIR bedroom(not HER bedroom!), getting
ready to leave for an outing. They had been married for over 30 years.
The wife poops out and asks 'how do I look?'. For someone that had been
married for that long, she looked good. We all echoed
'Great!Beautiful!!', as if rehearsed. We however noticed that her
lipstick was heavy and told her, to which she replied 'let me get a
tissue to reduce it'. And then it happened, the husband protested and
said 'why use a tissue when my lips are here for you?', she smiled, went
over
to where he was and planted a kiss on his lips.
That's not all, she then proceeded to plant a peck on the cheeks of all
her kids present and I got one too *smiles*. They were best of friends!
Friendship in a relationship is so vital! Interestingly enough, it's
present prior to the start of a relationship BUT this is not a guaranty
it will be there afterwards. Friendship is developed and groomed for it
to blossom! A lot of couples have this myth that they authomatically
become their partner's best friend because they are in a relationship or
marriage. It really doesn't work that way! Particularly if you are
married. It's quite interesting to find that couples( particularly the
men), somehow expect their partner or spouse to make them their best
friend! Let me quickly add here that the fact that friendship was once
there does not mean it will be forever!
Let me categorically say that if friendship can start, friendship can
end! Let me ask you this. Did you at anytime, while growing up, have
this one friend that you were so close it was impossible to separate you
both? Some were so close that their parents had to be friends because
of them. But right now, you don't even know what's going on in their
life. You went your separate ways! When you now meet, it's more of
information sharing that connecting like you use to. What happened? You
grew apart! It is possible to grow apart in a marriage or relationship
as well, in fact, if you don't consciously work at it, you will.
Friendship in a relationship, particularly marriage makes all the
difference. It makes submission for a wife easier, it makes loving the
wife easier for the man and it helps ensure sex is not an issue. A
critical part of developing/growing friendship is knowing the other
person. Before you start saying I know my spouse, let me say that the
act of knowing your spouse is a continuos one. We are all a product of
our background and certain circumstances. These things help shape the
way we react or respond to certain things. Guess what? They keep
changing! Every now and then, your spouse will pull a surprise on you
that will make you ask yourself if you really know him/her. You need to
become a student of your spouse! Their temperament can change! Their
love language can change! And yet you want to keep dealing with them the
way you've always done!
The good thing about life is that each day is a fresh opportunity to get
it right. Do not be scared to fail because you will miss it every now
and then.But be determined and you'll find that becoming (and staying) a
friend to your spouse is not that difficult. If you really want to grow
grey together, then become friends for life. The couple I mentioned
earlier are in their late eighties or early nineties and all their kids
are out of their home but the friendship they built is still as strong
as ever. I personally believe that friendship between couples can affect
the longevity of the couple because you never want to leave/abandon
your friend.
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